Last night, Vera and I talked for about 2 hours about past guys. Its so interesting how a few years, a few months, or even a few hours affects who we are now. So so many stories....
I'm pretty excited to turn 21. Not that I have crazy money to celebrate with, but I'm just ready for the new world of bars and all that comes with it. And from what I've heard/witnessed, it's a time to be had. And no, I don't currently feel saddened because I am "missing out".
I'm feeling incredibly behind in half of my classes: speech and photography. I think I might drop speech, its super lame. I could easily catch up in photography, but I've been ever-so lazy. I've never felt like an idiot before in a photo class, and let me tell you its not fun to feel like you "suck" or "can't do" something you very much enjoy.
I've taken to playing Scrabble with Vera and her family. Games are usually accompanied with red wine and slices of apples and parmesean. Oh, bonding.
Last night, I brought up the fact (to Vera) that not only had I spent Valentine's with her, my boyfriend and I had also forgotten our own anniversary. It makes my stomach twist a little thinking about it, but other than that I'm at ease. What's wrong with me? After some verbal observation, I realized I'm in that rut. Not the stuck-rut, but the comfortable-rut. The comfortable-rut allows relationships an excess of carelessness and one-sided arguments. Now, how do I go about solving something like this? I'm too stubborn to admit I'm boring, or unthoughtful, or a "bad" girlfriend... Because I'm not. But, what happened? I still get butterflies when I see him, but after those initial few minutes, its the same routine of: making something to eat, sitting in my bed to watch television, messing around, and going home. I love my boyfriend, but I am unaware of where to begin to fix this.
I guess I'm glad I was buzzed enough last night to bring it up to him. Today, hopefully there will be answers.
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